just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
