My hand turned me down
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
