okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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