At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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