Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize