haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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