I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
