They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
