Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
