I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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