i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
