I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
