why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I came so hard my ears popped.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
