It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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