kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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