Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
