We're facebook friends in real life
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize