wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
