If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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