I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
