you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
