is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
