like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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