we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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