The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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