what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
two words...techno handjob
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
