Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
