i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
