I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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