i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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