I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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