I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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