New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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