nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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