Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
