Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
