I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
