party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
