How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
