I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
