that's an acceptable place to lick
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize