Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize