just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
