Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
