just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
