she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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