I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Your penis caused this!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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