her vagine was all disorganized.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
