I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
