If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
zippers are such a cool invention
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
my liver is dry heaving
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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