I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
now i know why i became what i already was.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
