I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
