i permit you to call me
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
