Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
