Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
