can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
