don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
