a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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