Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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