But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
