She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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