My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
