What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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