Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
So squirting runs in the family.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
