Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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